Accepting the difference between a "hobby" and a "passion"

When I started writing in seventh grade, I was angry with the world for not giving me the things I wanted, so I created a world where I surrounded myself with characters who became friends.

I was everything I wanted to be, and everything I couldn't be.

But 11 years later, I'm still learning what I can and can't ask the world for. My priorities and emotions have changed, and the anger is something I've healed within myself.

But I have also spent a long time denying myself the right to say that writing is not just "a hobby". It's a passion. It's what I breathe and live in, and I cannot be without it.

I recently decided that I had to stop listening to people who tell me I shouldn't love writing as much as I do. I say this not because I'm angry with those people, but because I have been honest with myself.

I tried-I've tried since high school-to deny myself the right to say "I want a career that I love" and "I can manage without the money" and sort of say 'no' to the values that my parents and my Indian culture has instilled in me.

And to be honest, I compromised a little with my education, because I was so scared that if I just did what I wanted, I'd be making a big mistake. I'm a communication major, and I have to admit that being a Comm major has changed me positively. But, I regret that in my time at college; I didn't jump at opportunities to share my writing, and I didn't feel confident enough to develop relationships with mentors and peers who would understand me as I am.

Now that I'm looking back, I think my actual issue was anxiety. Anxiety of whether I would fall rather than fly. And I had all these ways of validating everyone around me, but I wasn't able to validate ME.

And I think therapy has already helped with that acceptance. Writing is my passion. It is not a hobby, it's not a part of the "phases of life" and it's not something I do just because I think I can make money out of it.

This is something that you, reader, should think about, no matter what stage of life you're at. Sometimes, the reason you're alive, and the things you are meant to do are right in front of you.

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-May